發個英一大作文模板，用好了上15沒問題

litianpeng1

         Having captured our attention, the picture vividly describes that [描述圖片內容]. Accordingly, what this far-reaching picture depicts a common phenomenon in today's society: [圖片所反映的寓意].                       

     

        According to a recent survey conducted by the China Daily that our society has witnessed a dramatic increase[或者decline] in [某現象如globalization] during the last 10 years. This issue apparently has a profound impact on our everyday life. There are numerous reasons that why do we lay much emphasis upon this, and I would like to explore a few of the most important ones here. For one thing, [第一個理由]. For another, [第二個理由]. And above all, [第三個理由            

   

       Judging from what has been argued above, we have to recognize that it is high time we should take some effective measures to resolve the problem. Only by undergoing these measures, can we human beings live in harmony, and we will have a bright future.

chen2974

很多海文的痕跡

chen2974

what this far-reaching picture depicts a common phenomeno
少謂語啊

chen2974

According to a recent survey conducted by China Daily that our society has witnessed a dramatic increase[或者decline] in [某現象如globalization] during last 10 years.這個THAT怪怪的，貌似有問題

chen2974

There are numerous reasons that why do we lay much emphasis upon this,
這個that貌似也有問題....
建議樓主把語法錯誤改了，貌似很多墨吹吹的痕跡，但樓主自由發揮了不少

litianpeng1

chen2974 發表于 2012-12-22 15:51
There are numerous reasons that why do we lay much emphasis upon this,
這個that貌似也有問題....
建議 ...

再看看，用軟件自動改錯和潤色了下。

chen2974

litianpeng1 發表于 2012-12-22 17:12
再看看，用軟件自動改錯和潤色了下。

軟件靠不住的....
Accordingly,what this far-reaching picture depicts witnesses a common phenomenon in today's society:
上面是老墨那個模板里的句子，明顯你給人家把謂語去了
后面那兩個句子定語從句都是多了個引導詞
又看了看，we have to recognize，這里人家老師給的是we have come to realize，你這里改了以后感覺也怪怪的，原文人家是用的完成時態加了個have，你這里改了后中文就是“我們必須認出”。
還有些你自己的表達，明顯跟模板句不搭，連我都能看出來別說老師了.....


PS:碰巧我也看了墨老師的模板，我寫這些只是覺得你的模板里的錯誤句子有可能誤導大家，所以希望你把錯誤的改過來，不要誤導其他人，沒別的意思

毛絿唲

{:soso_e140:}1樓


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花謝花飛花滿

chen2974 發表于 2012-12-22 18:17
軟件靠不住的....
Accordingly,what this far-reaching picture depicts witnesses a common phenomenon  ...

have to=must吧？我也不是很懂，是不是，不得不的意思？

jiuzhuanwuji

那個vividly都讓老師吐血了，你還用。。。