其實冥冥之可能早就有感覺過不了線了，整個人考完就昏昏沉沉，年初完全看不進書，三天打魚兩天曬網，天天看直播，要不就是刷綜藝。英美文史和選讀到現在也沒踏實看完，更別說一本完整的原著了，所以就算真的這樣勉強考上了也會學得很辛苦吧。
而且初試復習階段就不夠踏實，消遣的書影音期期不落，暑假更幾乎打了兩個月的游戲，還給自己找理由說是勞逸結合，如果要強迫著考上以后也只能強迫著學，那和搬磚有什么兩樣。現在想來真是愚蠢又可笑。
出復試線當時說沒關系不在意是假的，還反過來去安慰爸爸媽媽，其實到現在都沒有走出來。Anyway, I had it coming.
而我甚至設想過復試的場景，老師問我: Why postgraduate? why literature? and why BFSU?
我說：I’d like to ask for your understanding in advance as my answer may sound harsh but it doesn’t make it any less true:
First, as a so-called proficient examinee from some little town（小鎮做題家）, I am imbued in the socially prevailing utilitarianism and domestically irrational emotionalism, institutional learning seems to be an opportunity(if not the only) to clamber a rung and to diffuse this rooted sentimentality;
Second, I deem literature as the most temperate device to express ideas, more flexible than Architecture, and more imaginative than Pictures;
Third, I presume to quote a speech delivered by John. F. Kennedy in 12th Sept. 1962 about the Apollo Program, he goes:
But why, some say, the Moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?
We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too…
No, Sir, I prefer not to.
…
四、復試
雖然沒進復試，還是分享一下復試的書單吧：
文學史：英國文學史、美國文學史（常遙信）、歐洲文化概況（外研社）
文學理論與鑒賞：理解小說、理解詩歌(Cleanth Brooks)、短篇小說解讀（張在新）、文學批評方法手冊（Guerin）、文學理論（外教社）
原著及選讀作品：美國文學名著選讀（錢青）、英國文學經典選讀（刁克利）、我的心靈藏書館系列（彭萍）、Cambridge companion 系列、Bloom’s Literary Themes系列、Sparknotes…